When Everything Is Called Trauma—What Happens to the Word Itself?
In recent years, “trauma” has become a catch-all term for pain, stress, or emotional discomfort. While it’s encouraging that we’re talking more openly about mental health, something important is being lost when everything is framed through a trauma lens.
Trauma can take many forms. Sometimes it’s acute and unmistakable—an accident, an assault, a natural disaster. These experiences often leave immediate, visible imprints on a person’s nervous system and sense of safety.
But trauma can also be subtle and cumulative. It may emerge in the context of early relational experiences: emotional absence, misattunement, or inconsistent caregiving. Importantly, these moments are not inherently traumatic. Many people experience attachment ruptures and navigate them without long-term harm.
What makes something traumatic is not just what happened, but how the experience was processed—or left unprocessed—within the psyche. For some, these early relational dynamics leave lasting imprints on their sense of self, their capacity for trust, and their emotional regulation.
From my perspective as a psychodynamic, attachment-informed therapist, trauma is a meaningful concept—but it holds the most value when we use it with care and precision.
What Is Trauma, Really?
Trauma isn’t only about one horrific event. Often, it’s about the lasting impact of experiences that overwhelmed a person’s ability to cope—especially during key stages of development. Chronic misattunement, neglect, or abuse can disrupt emotional regulation and the formation of secure attachment.
For example:
- The parent who ignored you when you were hurting
- The comfort that never came when you were afraid
- The connection that felt unsafe, inconsistent, dangerous or overwhelming
These moments aren’t inherently traumatic for everyone. But for some, they shape foundational patterns of relating, coping, and self-protection in ways that persist into adulthood.
This form of trauma—often called relational or attachment-based—may leave no visible scars. But it can influence everything: how you love, how you manage distress, and how you experience your place in the world.
How Trauma Shows Up
Whether or not you’ve named your experiences as trauma, you might notice:
- Feeling emotionally overwhelmed or emotionally shut down
- Patterns of people-pleasing, avoidance, or perfectionism
- Difficulty trusting others—or yourself
- A body that feels constantly on edge, or disconnected altogether
- Relationships that feel confusing, unsafe, or exhausting
- Dissociation in times of stress or overwhelm
These aren’t character flaws. They’re adaptive responses—survival strategies developed in environments that lacked consistent emotional safety.
The Attachment-Based Psychodynamic Approach
Trauma therapy with me isn’t about rushing to “fix” anything. It’s about creating the conditions for real, relational healing to unfold.
Here’s what that looks like in practice:
- We work slowly and collaboratively—nothing is forced.
- We explore your past not to dwell, but to understand your present.
- We use the therapeutic relationship as a new, secure base—one where trust, safety, and
emotional attunement can be re-learned. - We gently bring unconscious patterns into awareness, so they stop running the show.
This work is depth-oriented, compassionate, and grounded in the belief that emotional transformation is possible.
Trauma Leaves Real Scars—And PTSD Is Real
While trauma is often subtle or relational, there are also forms that are acute and clearly
defined. These include:
- Surviving a near-death experience
- Witnessing violence or war
- Experiencing a natural disaster, assault, sexual abuse, or serious accident
- Working in high-impact, trauma-exposed professions (e.g., emergency services, healthcare, military)
These events can overwhelm the nervous system’s capacity to cope, leading to chronic and sometimes debilitating symptoms.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a well-established clinical condition that may include:
- Flashbacks or intrusive memories
- Hypervigilance or exaggerated startle responses
- Emotional numbness or detachment
- Nightmares or sleep disturbances
- Avoidance of reminders or triggers
Event-based trauma typically refers to exposure to specific, identifiable incidents that threaten life or physical safety. It can lead to PTSD in some individuals and deserves thoughtful, specialized care.
In our work together, I honour the depth of what you’ve survived—whether relational or acute—and offer a grounded, relational space to begin healing.
The work of therapy is to help you feel safer in your body again, and to re-establish a sense of connection—both within yourself and with the world around you.
When the Trauma Label Isn’t Helpful
Not every struggle is trauma. Sometimes life is painful, and stress is real—but that doesn’t always mean trauma has occurred.
Overusing the trauma label can unintentionally pathologize healthy emotional responses, blur important distinctions, and dilute the experiences of those who’ve endured significant harm.
Part of our work may involve unpacking what trauma means to you, and discerning what calls for deep healing versus what simply needs space, support, or perspective.
You’re Not “Too Sensitive.” You’re Human.
Many people come to therapy believing they’re broken. They’re not. They’re carrying adaptations that once helped them survive—but now keep them stuck.
Through this work, you can learn to:
- Feel safer in your body and relationships
- Hold your emotions with more compassion
- Trust yourself more deeply
- Relate to others from a place of grounded presence, not fear
Let’s Begin
Whether you’ve experienced clear, identifiable trauma or feel lost in patterns you don’t yet understand—this is a place to slow down and listen to what your mind and body are trying to tell you.
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if this work feels right for you.